Dysfunction Junction

Dysfunction Junction

When is enough, enough? Why is it that so many people seem to be addicted to dysfunction?

When do you get to the point in your life when you want peace and you want to get your shit together and no longer participate in the dysfunction of it all? I personally know a lot of people who really live their lives in constant dysfunction and drama.

Drama hopping

They go from one bad situation to another. For example, I know a woman who goes from one bad relationship to another without any breaks in between. In my opinion, she is just dating the same man repeatedly. By jumping from relationship to relationship she doesn’t give herself a chance to decompress. She doesn’t allow herself time to mourn and figure out what she wants and what she doesn’t. Taking time for yourself in between relationships is imperative. Having single time is key to personal development. Getting to know yourself and loving yourself so that when you do meet someone worthwhile, you are already whole. People who are whole and complete, attract the same. People who lack self-esteem and attract the same and/or worse.

Another example is the “passionate couple” that claim to be in love. They fight, break up and make up every other day and they’ve become so accustomed to this dysfunction, that they think its normal. They think that this is how a loving relationship functions. In order to break the cycle of dysfunction, one of them will have to be the adult and walk away from the relationship. If that doesn’t happen, the relationship will get volatile and abusive. The passionate couple thinks their arguments and volatility are signs of love.  “If she didn’t love me, she wouldn’t get so crazy, when I go out with my friends” OR “He must really love me, or he wouldn’t have shown up to my job unannounced to convince me to take him back”.

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Highs and lows

There are many examples of constant dysfunction. It really depends on your personal situations and relationships.  But what these examples have in common is the constant cycles of drama. People who participate in these constant cycles are indeed hurt themselves.  They have some sort of lack or void that has not been filled and they’re seeking to fill it by constantly seeking out situations that are blissful in the beginning; give them a high, make them feel like they’re getting a lot of attention. But once the high wears off, the low sets in and they come crashing down. Then there may be another high, but with every high, there is always a low.  This cycle can be very unhealthy and distressing.

via GIPHY

Break the cycle

• Take time for yourself in between relationships.
• Do things that make YOU happy. Get to know yourself.
• Work on yourself. Identify your triggers/traumas and work on healing those things.
• Keep in mind: hurt people, hurt people. If you remain hurt, you will inflict that hurt plus more on others.