I have worked in large corporations for many years.
And I found that each company had a different culture. Some were very buttoned up, others were casual and others were so casual that it was down right unprofessional.
My role was always the non-threatening black woman. I kept my head down, minded my own business and did the job. I learned to maintain a certain amount of invisibility, while still being a valued team member.
I never saw myself as working in a corporate environment permanently, I always told myself that it would be temporary until a better opportunity presented itself. Well, as years went by, temporary became permanent and I decided to take advantage of tuition reimbursement benefits. I figured that I might as well continue my education while I worked at these dead end jobs. I received my Bachelors a few years ago and I'm currently working on a Masters degree.
My latest stint was the most passive aggressive culture I have ever experienced.
Literally, all the managers and senior executives would smile in your face and talk smack about you and your job performance behind your back. No one, not even your own manager, would tell you if you weren't doing well. Sounds crazy right? It was... you would think that at least your manager would give you constructive criticism along the way but they saved it all for the annual review. At which point you're caught off guard and surprised because you thought things were going fine.
That culture coupled with being Black... a Black woman, was like trying to swim against the current. I felt like I had to be 150% on point just to be seen as equal to my white counterparts who were not as well spoken or educated as me. Everything you did was monitored. Your emails, your tone, your willingness to kiss executive ass. You were expected to always take on a customer service tone (kiss ass) and approach, even treating your co-workers as customers. Being available to help, even if you couldn't because you were swamped with your own duties. Let us not forget the end of quarter crunch time! Getting through high volumes of work in a specific amount of time. Working weekends?! Yes .... and if you didn't, believe me, that was noted. Everything you did affected your year end bonus. As nice as that bonus was, honestly it wasn't worth the shit they put you through to get it.
What I needed was a break. And unfortunately, I got that break, but it wasn't on my terms. My position was "eliminated". The company had recently been bought and re-organized blah blah blah. They gave me about 3 months notice so, they didn't just give me the boot; nevertheless it was bittersweet. I was glad to get away from that place, but I needed to find another job... FAST!
Fast forward to my last day and still no job prospects in sight but I was relieved and excited to start a new chapter in my life and see where this twist was taking me.
While actively looking for another job, I decided to start this blog and get back to my creative writing and do the things that I love to do... creating, communicating with others and using my words and voice to inspire people; particularly women to live their best lives and to treat everyday as a new day for greatness.
I would do this full-time if it helped pay my bills but let's face it, blogging isn't going to cut it. I'm going to need to find another full time gig soon.
I have some interviews lined up. We'll see what happens.
But until then, I mother, I wife, I daughter, I blog and I workout full time!
Martine
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