Black Women!
Do we protect our black men too much?
Loaded question. Yes. But it’s a valid one.
Even when we know protecting him may be to our own detriment. We do it anyway. Why?
I ask this question because, recently I read a blog post about a black woman (she was in her late 30s) who was walking down the street with her headphones on and a young black man (she said he was not older than 20) verbally harassed her. His exact words were “Yo, you suck dick?” She was confused because she thought she heard wrong. She lowered the volume of her music and stopped to face him.
Nope! She wasn’t wrong, he said again “You suck dick?” She was mortified and couldn’t understand what about her appearance would make this boy think it was okay to address her like that. She described how she unraveled with fear but kept her composure. His words were very aggressive, and he threatened to rape her because she chose to ignore him and kept walking. She noted, that his eyes looked like he was mentally ill and his disheveled and dirty appearance gave her the impression that he was homeless.
All she could think about was that this young man could be her son or nephew. As he advanced towards her with hurtful words, she thought about what would happen to him if she called the cops on him. She walked faster and tried to find someplace that she could go into and loose him.
He ended up falling back and laughing at her, then took a seat on a curb.
I don’t understand why she stood there and took the time to face him and try to see where he was coming from. As a New Yorker who has been harassed in the street before, you know not to engage. You never know what that person is capable of. I think I would have had a hard time calling the cops on him too. Only because, I wouldn’t want to deal with waiting for the cop and telling the story etc. But what I would’ve done after I was away from the area was call homeless outreach, especially since he looked homeless and possibly ill. Depending on the city she is in (I don’t know) that may or may not be available. I know that it is in NYC.
Loyalty to our black men is embedded in us. This loyalty and protection go back to slavery days. We have seen our men through tragedy and triumph; it’s no secret that black men are targets in this country, so when we see a young black man that needs some picking up, even if he is doing wrong, our inclination is to help and somewhat enable.
On the flip side of this, while its admirable to want to see this young man and protect him by not calling the police, are you really helping him? What if the next woman isn’t so lucky? What if he does act on his threat and drag her into the back alley and rape her? That could’ve been prevented.
As a mother of three daughters, I understand the automatic need to protect but at the same time, that young man should’ve been held accountable for his actions.
Add your comment